This film grated on my nerves. I held my ears for much of it, it is so loud and irritating. The jangling music nearly drove me insane. It features many scenes where frighteningly large metal objects fly through the air at tremendous speeds and narrowly miss smashing people into smithereens. The super-gray cinematography makes it look like a video game, and as someone who loves the earthy, natural look of the classic 70s films I found it very hard to watch after about 5 minutes. The herky-jerky camerawork doesn’t help either.

The story is kind of fun, but at the same time a bit irritating and unimpressive. None of the elements is terribly effective or convincing: not the murders, not Holmes’ logic, not the hokey black magic crap, nothing. Everything is spoiled a bit by being so over-done. And making Holmes and Watson into a pair of bitchy queens just didn’t work for me.

Basically, Sherlock Holmes is Jason Bourne, ripping up Victorian England like a tornado. He is an iron man, impervious to pain and with bionic limbs. I guess they figured that the real Sherlock Holmes just wasn’t going to fly in this day and age, and maybe they are right. Basically, this film is yet another stage for Robert Downey Jr. to over-act on, and I must admit he is in fine form. If you love Robert Downey Jr. you will probably want to see this film at some point, just to soak him in. Jude Law, being the fine actor that he is, plays off him quite well while smartly staying out of his way for the most part.

In the end, though, the stupid cliches just did me in. The big french bruiser-guy that Holmes has to fight (seemingly for half the movie.) The Rachel McAdams evil flirt / girlfriend character (poor Rachel McAdams – why on earth did she take this roll?) which no actress could pull off, the part is so canned and uninspired. The generic evil guy, who looks and sounds like every other generic evil guy you’ve ever seen in movies, right down to the bad teeth. The only thing I liked is how the dog kept getting drugged out of its mind by Holmes: that was cute, but hardly a foundation capable of supporting an entire movie.

As vehicles for Robert Downey Jr. go, I suppose this film is not terrible. The film is way better than Iron Man, for example. But I found the film kind of boring despite all the frenetic action, and it is certainly not a film I would ever see again. It’s a good film to relegate to your Netflix cue for a desperate evening in the distant future.