A sample line from Eastern Promises, spoken by a thug in classic gumba slow-speak with a bad Russian accent plastered on top:

“I’m gonna watch you fuck one of these beeeetches, so I know your not queeeeer!”

If this line sounds interesting and exciting to you, by all means watch Eastern Promises. Otherwise, steer clear of this ridiculous piece of trash!

(PS: If you like throat slashing, throats are slashed very, very, very deeply in this movie, so that’s a real plus.)